Insolvency abuse kills
Bus Éireann are making cuts and turning their backs on their routes. One such route to suffer these savage cutbacks is the Expressway, the route where you get to express how you feel (it’s like an a emotional rollercoaster except not as extreme cause it’s a bus).
Also discontinued is the Thomas the Tank Engine-themed bus service ‘Double Declan Bus and Friends’. When asked for comment, Double Declan (or Dublin Deco as he is known, pictured) said “It’s a bleedin’ disgrace so it is”.
It almost seems as if Bus Éireann would rather we all just took the train. Forget about a bus pass, you’d need a Safe Pass for that. Did you hear the latest Irish train-based gossip? Ian Rode Erin and got her pregnant (seemingly because they weren’t Bus Errin’ on the Side of Caution).
Because of their insolvency, the national bus service is branching out into other areas of business, such as their plan to turn old buses into mobile weed cafes called ‘Cannabus Éireann’. They’re even expanding into media with their reboot of the ‘Ernest’ movie franchise: ‘ Bus Ernest goes on a change over in Athlone’.
The bus is not merely a mode of transport. These are living breathing capsules which create a place to stage the drama of life for a single moment in time. A meeting of minds, moving through time and space; a self contained eco system with each individual making up the bus’s character in that moment.
I urge Ireland’s transport service to think of the greater implications before carving up and ruining this national institution. Bus Éireann could be the dogs bollocks, but at the minute they’re just bollocks.